cd 1

And so begins a new cycle and sadly I really am sitting this one completely out with no allusions of even attempting to cycle. But, at least there is a plan. -- Surgery, Wait a Cycle, Estrogen Priming Cycle, Real Cycle (and hope and pray that I at least have some kind of response). Part of me was very happy to get my period today because it is a sign that my body is at least behaving predictably badly**. Yesterday, I really didn’t think I would start for awhile and usually I can tell when I am going to. Part of me was very sad because it was the end of another cancelled cycle that although it seems so long ago now, I actually took meds for a week or so. Part relieved to have this cycle finally behind me so I can move on.

Very, very tired tonight. Probably partly because of my period and mostly because Max has been waking my up very early all week in the dreaded 4 o’clock hour. I’ve said it before, but I REALLY hate getting up in that hour. I wish he would either go back to the routine of waking up around 3:15 or 3:30 (which my body is now trained to do and I am still waking up then) take a bottle and go back to sleep (both of us) for another hour or two or stretch it out and sleep until 5 – 5:30 straight. Last night, I tried putting him down 30 minutes later and knew when I was doing it that it would probably have the reverse affect like every other time I have tried it and he woke up 30 min. early. Sigh.

Work still very, very busy. Just finished working.

Gallstone pain has started again today. Felt brief spurts of pain this morning and it is getting worse (meaning more intense pain). Sigh. Glad the surgery is schedule. I’ll probably call the internist and ask for some pain killers just in case it gets really bad over the weekend. He offered when I saw him, but I declined at the time because I thought it was a kidney stone that had already passed at the time, but he said I could call and get one if I needed it. Maybe I will ask him for Ambien (sleeping pill) as well. Have stayed away from doing so because it is something that I think I could easily become dependent on, but on the other hand, I am already taking both Tylenol PM and Valerian Root to help me sleep on a regular basis. I have had sleep issues for as long as I remember but they are a bit worse right now because I am loosing sleep on both ends. I’m having trouble falling asleep because I am working after I put Max down and not having time to unwind and then he is getting me up early. I plan to try to nap over the weekend when he does to see if it helps me feel less tired.

Anyway, off to bed. Didn’t mean to ramble. This was supposed to be short. Just wanted to say that today is the start of a new cycle and I have mixed emotions about it.



** ~ 22 day cycle if ovulating which I have been doing since my first clomid cycle in early 2003 and ~ 28 days if I did not ovulate which happened after I stopped BCP’s to start ttc until I did my first clomid cycle. Of course, at the time I didn’t KNOW I wasn’t ovulating and only grew quite frustrated with trying to BBT chart and such.