On Weaning

We are in week 5.5 of the 6 week wean of N from phenobarbital. It is going fine because of there have been no seizures. However, it has unmasked some sensory stuff. Mostly rocking and difficultly soothing to sleep. The self soothing to sleep wasn't too bad until we hit the 1 cc/ml mark. The last few days have been bad. Tonight was awful. Thank goodness for the OT who has given me some good tips that have helped probably making it less bad that it could have been.

With the new high stress job, the lack of sleep, and now the sickness/cold thing I have going on (we all sound like we may be headed that way...pisses me off because we were on a nice healthy streak until I had to take R to the 'ficken doctors this week and had to to take Max for logistical reasons...and no matter how much stuff you don't touch and how you clean the hands, etc. seems like we end up sick after every appointment) my milk supply is WAY down. I keep telling myself I should just give it up. It's a sign that it is time to just stop. But, the stubborn streak in me doesn't care how much easier it would make my life and the fact that it would reduce the some of the stress in my life. Bottom line is I wanted/want to make it until the fall and I don't want to be all resentful later in life that I didn't especially for a stupid job. I may still just stop one day. I almost did tonight, but I can be a stubborn ole goat sometimes.

In spite of it all, it was a very pleasant and almost relaxing weekend. I had company for part of it (cousin's husband), got stuff done around the house (mostly before he got here), hosted a party, and really forgot about work and the work stresses for most of it. It's been hot, hot, hot. But, we've been out enjoying the pool and the warm lazy afternoons with friends relaxes me. We even made it to church today with and extra set of helping hands, it wasn't too bad.

Max is in just undies tonight. He didn't want to wear a pull up and told me he will get up to use the potty. And, he HAS been dry most of the last 7 days. In spite of my fear that he is going to wake up wet and in my bed waking me up in the middle of the night so I get less sleep than the little I have been getting, I let him do it and hope for the best.