Whine, Whine, Whine

This weekend was long. In fact, other than seeing friends I haven't seen in too long, it sucked. I wish I enjoyed my time with the kids more, but honestly, I didn't. The lack of sleep is killing me. It wouldn't be so bad, but when I get woken around 2:30 - 3:30 am I don't get any more sleep. Sometimes, I get unrestful dozing and that's about it. I yelled too much. R was sick and whinny. Max had act out behaviors in part because I was tired and crabby and in part because I had friends over (one on Sunday and another on Monday) and so he had less of my attention which didn't thrill him. The slog of it can just be a bit much. With R sick and adding in breathing treatments, there is just not a minute to even sit and play and baby hold. While this is a cute stage for the babies, I feel like I don't get to enjoy much of it because there is stuff that has to get done. Just covering the basics eats into every spare minute. And, so here I sit glad that R and Max are still sleeping while N watches TV while I pump and talk to her on and off glad the weekend is over, feeling tired and crabby and the day hasn't even begun, but most of all feeling like a failure of a mother for not enjoying it more. I love my kids. I wouldn't trade it back for my single and fansy free days. But, I just wish I had more quality time and could sit and enjoy more. I guess you could say the pumping, making baby food, cooking dinner are labers of love, but it sure would be nice if the majic house cleaning fairy would stop in and do the dishes, the high chairs, and the floor (not to mention fix baby jail, rehang the curtains that have been pulled off the windows, and clean up ever other disaster or mess that appears every two seconds). Blah, whine, whine, whine. I hope everyone else had a nice enjoyable happy weekend. Here, it was all just a bit too much.