Healing so slowly

After this, I could barely talk about it. I guess after everything of this summer and the trama, loosing all that milk was a last straw and I just had to shut it away and not think about it or deal with it. I was going to throw out all the spoiled milk myself to get closure and in the end I couldn't do it and ask Noemi to go and toss it. I guess in a way, I was in mourning. I guess I'm healing every so slowly as I cleaned out the mold and turned back on the freezer today.

I still can't spend much time looking at any of the early pictures of the twins. I want to put together a book for each of them showing the changes week by week that I took, but not ready yet. I went looking for a picture of my cousin from this summer and even looking at the pictures brings me back and makes it all too real again. I get a physical anxiety attack type reaction.

Things are fine here. I've just been tired and behind on everything and needing to cave in a bit. I've been equally as bad at returning emails and phone calls. Work is busy and takes all of my talking and connecting with people energy right now that at the end of the night when I have the time, I'm just too tapped out. I have nothing left for others right now.