Menengitis and vacines

Even before Nora got meningitis that caused the hydrocephalus that necessitated her get a life long shunt put in to keep fluid from accumulating causing further damage; Even before the neurologist told me that meningitis is like acid that kills off all brain tissue it comes in contact (almost an exact quote) and THAT was what was causing the probable seizure activity and we wouldn't know until later and she started hitting or missing milestones how much brain tissue was damaged and if the brain would compensate and rewire itself enough that Nora would not have visible brain damage or developmental delays; Even before I read a handout on vaccinations while pumping in the NICU pump room one day that listed one of the biggest reasons to get most of the vaccinations is to prevent against whatever the vacine is for and complications of menegitis. Even before all of that, I was a proponent of vacinations and have keeped my children current. Not only to keep them healthy, but also because as a culture I believe the more people who do not vacinate the bigger the risk is to everyone. I understand people have a variety of personal reasons why they either choose to vacinate or not. I understand the pros and cons both for and against vacinations and this post isn't to judge anyone for the decisions they have made. I even plan to delay the one vacine that is suppose to trigger autism until past the adjusted age of the twins instead of the actual age of the twins because I would like to ensure their immune systems are up to snuff and are able to handle it. The thing is, after having a child with menegitis, that isn't just a word on a piece of paper. I understand all too well the short and long term reprecussions. Nora has had to pay the price in the short term and while I don't worry about it too much I do hope and pray that she doesn't have to pay a steep price the rest of her life. I know and understand the why's and how comes that got us to this point and really believe in my heart of hearts that it just was...it's the journey we have to take on this. I also know that if she had gotten this as a result of an infection because I had not vacinated, I'm not sure if I could live with myself. The guilt, I think it would do me in. The funny thing with menegitis is that while having had it once she is not more or less likely to get it again. Nor is she immune from getting it again. Knowing what I know today. Living with what I have lived with. Seeing my poor little defensiless baby have to deal with one thing after another. I would do whatever I needed. I will do whatever I have to do to prevent any of my children from ever getting this again.

Probably because of the medications still in her system, Nora did fine all Sunday. She started developing swelling around the shunt Sunday night and her head is very misshapen at the moment. I need to take pictures. She has clearly been uncomfortable with a lot of crying and fussiness. The shunt was put on the right side of her head that was her prefered position. The side she favored. Anytime any pressure was put on the area, no matter how light, she would start screaming and wouldn't stop for quite awhile. Poor girl. She hasn't been sleeping well. When she does sleep, she would inadvertently move her head and wake up wailing. Tylenol has helped some. The swing has allowed her to get a bit of sleep here and there. I think finally we are turning the corner and today was a bit of a better day where she didn't scream to be held and then scream while holding her just because she hurt and couldn't get comfortable and just didn't know what she wanted. The last few days would have been a lot worse if Noemi wasn't taking the day shift, my cousin the evening shift, and me the night shift with mostly enough naps between my cousin and I to keep perspective and patient. At least for me, the shift work kept me from getting to emotional and crying with her cause I knew that in x hours, someone else would come on and give relief. It is so hard to see one so little go through something like this. My poor little girl has been through so much and this is just the latest and hopefully the last.