Angels and Blessings

Sometimes I think about angels and blessings and how things end up working out. For example, when my cousin came this summer. She was an angel and it was blessing and I don't know how I would have done it this summer without her. In college, my Aunt (who happens to be my cousin T, who came out this summer, mom...and my Godmother) randomly sent me some money with instructions that I needed to do something fun with it. She only did it that one time, and it came at a time when I really, really, really needed some extra cash for some expenses. It was like a God send. A friend who calls at just the right time so that you can laugh or cry and share.

Today, Max and I headed to the snow. I was getting a bit worried that it might have all melted and the place where I was headed and told was the place to go only had snow on private property. I asked someone and he pointed me further up the hill to the very top. When I got to what was the peak, there was a closed campground gated for the winter, but there was a hill and snow so I stopped and got out and got Max and I ready. Just as we were about to head down the hill, another family with 4 kids pulled up and got out. The youngest was three. I had borrowed a sled, a disk, and a snow tube from a neighbor and a friend. Since we were only using one, I pulled the others out so the other family could use them since they didn't have anything with them. We all just had a good ole time in the snow together for the next 90+ minutes taking turns and helping the kids up and down the hill. It was much more fun for Max to have other kids there and much easier for me because the other mom and I often just stayed at the top helping the kids get on the gear and the dad stayed at the bottom, "caught" the kids, and helped the little ones back up. They had more fun because I had equipment and we had more fun and more help. I just love win-wins. And, in the believe it or not, it is a small world..they live two blocks from Max's preschool. Anyway, we did end up having a good time. No pictures because it was a bit too slippery and I needed to stay in the moment. But, it got me thinking once again about angels and blessings and how things end up working out sometimes.

I really hadn't taken Max to the snow and it was one of the things I have been wanting to do and the timing didn't work for anyone else to go with, but was the only day I really could do it this vacation. And, Max did not want to get his pictures taken. He covered his face and refused to take one with me on Christmas and Christmas eve, but I really wanted to get updated family pictures before I went back to work and for the holiday's. You noticed how happy and smiling he was on the photos? Yes? I did what any good mom would do, bribery...incentive...oh, you want to go to the snow? Then, I need good cooperation and a good listener. Hey it worked and I needed and wanted to pay out.

N, the one I can usually count on to sleep through, was up more than she was asleep last night and screaming her head off last night. That girl sure has a pair of lungs on her that one. Not much sleep for either of us, then with the snow trip, I'm wiped. But, in spite of the hard nights, the more difficult, and the harder parts of parenting, I feel so blessed.

Angels and Blessings. Sometimes, you can see them in the more ordinary ways and places, like a random Tuesday, the last of the year.

The Funnies

In Septia

In Color

Guess what we did today?

Champagne Taste

I used to drink alcohol on a regular basis before I had Max, mostly red wine. I have this really nice wine fridge in my living room full (or half full) of really nice and somewhat expensive wine. They will probably be bad once I get around to drinking them, especially since Max plays with the buttons and you never really know what temperature it has been set at and for how long. Once I had Max, I really lost my taste for it. Plus, I could never drink more than a glass, then the rest of the bottle went to waste and I was dumping most of a $30 bottle down the drain which just pained me. Plus, with lack of sleep, never knowing how much and for how long you would be getting woken up, and the 24x7 nature of being a mom, I just haven't really had anything to drink in years. Tonight, I had a taste for some champagne and I figured I could have a glass, my mom (who is staying over tonight) would have a glass and we could cork it (with a special champagne cork I have after that one night when I lived in SF and had a cork blow off in my face spraying me and my entire kitchen, oh, haven't thought about that time in awhile, what a funny memory) and finish it off on New Years Eve (of which I celebrate with the East Coast) so as not to waste it. All that to say, I didn't stop at that one glass and am feeling pleasantly relaxed at the moment. I really can't remember the last time. I think I'm going to go with it. And, really need to start pumping soon. We will see if and how the twins react to this in the morning.

Oh, and I didn't pop the really good bottle I had in there because it was too warm because a certain 3 year old had fiddled with things again without me noticing so I am only drinking an average bottle, which is tasting just fine. I added in a warm bath with relaxing bath salts and I'm feeling just fine. Enough said.

Christmas Night

Hard to believe another Christmas has come and gone. Hard to believe I am a mom of three. I feel so blessed this Christmas..this year. I got my Christmas wish earlier this year when my family became complete with the birth of the twins. Sure, it is tough sometimes, but all good. Hey, tonight I managed to give all three kids a bath and get them down in relative calms. We had a nice day, a nice holiday. We did church last night, then had some family over and opened family gifts. Today, we just hung out and relaxed and snacked. Max and I never got out of our PJ's. We opened the last gift around 12:30 pm.

Christmas Eve

Max played Santa. He would take the presents to the North Pole (my room), then bring them back in to either open or pass out to be opened. He is a funny one that one. Getting a good picture of him this year was hard because if he knew you were taking a picture, he covered his face with his hands and declared he didn't want his picture taken. Not sure where he got that one from.

Christmas Day

Max checking out his gift from Santa holding a piece of N's gift from Santa which he likes and played with almost as much as he did his own.

Vacation Update (with pics)

After the difficult start, our vacation has been going along fine. Yes, with an active three year old, there are behavioral issues here and there, but mostly Max is just pushing to the limit and not crossing the line. I'm sure it helps (and by design) I've had something planned every few days that he really wants to do as incentive to being a good listener and adequate behavior. We took the Christmas train to the north pole to see Santa over the weekend. It was Max's first Santa visit and he loved it. Probably, he loved the fact that a train ride was involved even more. Monday, he and I ran a slew of errands to get ready for the holiday and today we headed to Santa Barbara to the zoo and beach. Again, I think seeing the animals and the beach were fine side dishes, but he got to ride the zoo train twice. Oh, what a thrill for a train enamored three year old boy. I'm solo with the kids for the next 2 days. Well, my mom and my sister are coming tomorrow mid day and staying over for Christmas so that will be nice. I'm ready, stress free, and hoping for a half decent night sleep for the holidays. The last few nights have been a blur, but I know there were a lot of wakings and each kid was up at least once with 2 out of the three up at least twice. Either way, I've got a Honey Baked Ham dinner with some easy appetizers and veggies to heat and everything else is ready, ready, ready. I'm looking forward to the holiday and Max is looking forward to Santa. This year he really seem to get it. When we were running errands, he kept looking at all the houses and saying which one has a chimney and which didn't. Last week, we spent a good amount of time for several days (even out in the rain) in the back yard staring and pondering our chimney. He amazed me when he asked what happens if there is a fire in the fireplace. The kid is always thinking. He's always coming up with things like that. Anyway, I'm sure I'm rambling at this point so over and out for the duration. Merry Christmas for those who celebrate and Happy Holidays for those that don't.

Not a good start

Today was the first day of our vacation - Max from school and me from work. We had a really, really rough start after a rough evening last night and broken sleep. I can take the hyper no listening, we are going straight to bed no bath no tv no nothing thing of last night. I can handle the being woken at 1 am crying and disoriented because Max was sleeping on the top bunk with Nana on the bottom bunk. I can handle being woken by R in the gosh awful 4 am hour. I can even handle the Max waking up when I climbed back in bed and not going back to sleep. What put me over the edge was the deliberate pee'ing all over my bed while I was pumping thing and then laughing and thinking it was funny. I was not amused and I was not laughing. I was furious and he knew it. He continued to try to joke his way out of it and then blame it on being an accident, like I wasn't right there. At first, I think he was only sorry because he was afraid he wouldn't get to go to his school Christmas party this morning. I made him help by taking the sheets to the washer and then witness me taking the duvet to the dry cleaners and explaining that I now had to spend money on that instead of rolls (a current favorite food), or candy, or toys, or presents. Although, it took me an hour or so to get over it, I promiced I would not dwell on it all day as what was done was done. He knew I was angry. He knew why I was angry. I told him no matter how angry I got, I would always love him. It was dropped and we moved on until tonight at bedtime, when he told me he was sorry he pee pee'd on my bed and he would never do it again. As I told him, it wasn't so much that he pee'd on my bed as much as it was deliberate and done because he was trying to be funny and get attention, when something like that isn't funny. It would have been different if it was an accident, but it wasn't and we both knew it. Lesson learned. This whole parenting and dicipline thing can be a pain more times than not, but oh so important. Max pushes things to the limit and tests all the time, but usually will get his act together before he crosses the line. Both last night and this morning, he made bad choices and didn't like the conciquences. Tonight went much better. I hope the rough start to the vacation was just an anomoly, otherwise, it is going to be a long, long, long few weeks and no vacation. I'm holding out hope that he has learned something here. Actions have conciquences, both good and bad. I guess learning this is all part of growign up, but my word, I was really upset with him this morning.

Weighing In

The twins had their 6 month ped appointment yesterday.... Below are their stats adjusted to 4 months, as opposed to 3 1/2 which is closer to the truth, but not really necessary...

N
Wt 14 lbs 2 oz, 75%
Ht 24 1/2 in, 50%
HC, 16, 40%

R
Wt 14 lbs, 3 oz, 50%
Ht 24 1/2 in, 40%
HC, 16 1/2, 50%

Highlights: They both got lots of shots, although not as many as they could have gotten since we have to be back next month for the second flu shot and the third synigis shot we split the immunizations up. R weighing more than N. He consistently eats at least 1 - 2 oz less each meal, but I guess he does sleep better overall so I guess that's what does it. However, anyone looking at them is shocked because N is so round and chubby looking, as well a baby should be. Dr. H laughed when I told him N doesn't do discomfort well and commented that his wife doesn't either. LOL. We could start solids/rice cereal or we could wait a month or two. I'm going to wait a bit while I continplate making my own baby food and get rice cereal recommendations. For those of you who have done this, and I know at least two of you so will likely email off line if/when I get a chance, what book recommendations, good tips/advice, family favorites, and/or lessons learned do you have for me? Both babies were tired and fussy last night. R woke up a lot. I didn't get much sleep. And, I've now got a sore throat and sniffles. Can you see where this is headed? At least I'll be on vacation, officially, in a few hours, although I've lost focus and am pretty much mentally done. However, Max will also be on vacation so probably rest and naps are out sadly.

Uninspired

Work is busy and fulfilling and in spite of all the turmoil going on and the pending vacation/holiday, I am reminded that I actually like work and am good at it. Not that I wouldn't give it up easily given the choice to spend more time "at home" with the kids, but since that isn't an option, it is a good thing that I like it. Anyway, this new gig I have keeps me busy, busy, busy so blogging during the day isn't really and option and I'm too burned out and tired of thinking and being in front of a computer when I'm not working. As such, I've been quiet and uninspired on the blog front, but maybe that is obvious.

My Big Babies

12 days until Christmas

Not to stress anyone out, but did you realize that today it is only 12 more days until Christmas. I'm in pretty good shape. I think I have everything bought and have a start on wrapping. I made a ton of Christmas cookies today. Today was the big day where I went into Max's class to do the cookie thing. I made the dough up earlier in the week and glad I ran out of ingredients and only made up 3 batches as we only used one in his class. After work, I rallied and made up 1.5 and froze .5 because I just couldn't do one more and needed to get Max to bed. We had cookies for dinner. Oh well, some days are just like that. It is my Grandma's recipe and a treasured one in my family. So yummy!

6 months ago

Six months ago today. Six months ago, and two hours ago precisely actually, the twins were born. Can you believe it? Happy 6 month birthday little ones.

Lack of content

I haven't had much to say lately. Things have been fairly routine, which is a good thing. Work is busy and I'm working after the kids go to bed most nights. The twins, on average, continue to be pretty good night sleepers. Max, on average, continues to get me up and not be a good night sleeper. I can't complain too much, because I'm sure he gets it from me. My cousin says its the "farmer" genes in my linage. Most often, N gets put to bed earliest because she is crabby and screaming her head off, then Max, then R last of all. Tonight, we were all blessed with not having to hear N fussy and loud. It really was nice. What changed? She got decent naps.

I've been telling Noemi for weeks now to make sure N got good naps and to put her in her bed for it. R is a catch as catch can napper and seems to get enough or at least not have lack of sleep affect him. N, not so. Yesterday, Noemi commented to me that N likes to sleep in her bed and naps better that way. Ah, yeah. What do you think I've been trying to tell you.

Yesterday, Max gave me one day notice that he was going on vacation today and that I needed to take him to the airport. He's going to Michigan for 5 days. Not the Aunt TT Michigan, the Santa Michigan (aka the North Pole). And, on the way back, he's stopping by Utah. Not really sure where the Utah comes from since we don't know anyone that lives in Utah, probably this is all because someone at schoold is going to Utah for vacation. But, Utah it is. When I tell him I'll miss him too much, I'm told not to worry, it will be okay, and that he will be back in only 5 days. When I explained he was too young to fly by himself, he told Noemi she needed to come with him. When that didn't work, he said, momma's could come.

As previously stated, N was in a reasonable, calm mood tonight so she got to do books and early bed time routine with Max and I while R got bathed and fed. Me thinks the trying to get your siblings in trouble thing starts early. N was sitting there minding her own business and Max goes and puts his finger to her mouth and then tells me that "N got germs on me" in that tattle voice of kids. I had to laugh inside. He went on to tell me that now he is sick and has to go to the hospital. Yes, we have had to have many discussions on how he can't get in the babies faces, spit on them, blow on them especially when he is sick, etc.

As busy as the weekdays are, as hard and crazy and intense as the weekends are with all three kids, as much as I really like working, as much as work is easy for me and as egotistical as it may sound as good at it as I am, I miss having more time with the kids. Often I feel a little sad that I don't hold, feed, bath, change the babies more myself. Even if it means I get less sleep, secretly, most of the time, I'm not too upset when the babies are up during the night because it means I get more interaction with them as limited as it is because we have strong day vs. night cues and signals around here. I remind myself, that I have it better than most because I do work from home and I do get to see them here and there throughout the day even if it is a quick goo goo ga ga conversation and smiles while Noemi feeds them or they are hanging out in the swing or bouncy. I can take a meeting, then break to get Max to school most days. I can stop work to pick him up and wrap it up after they are all asleep. Most days. Not all. Today, Noemi had to do both drop off and pick up for Max because I had both early and late meetings. However, because I do work from home and the babies are so good on average, she can run and get Max leaving the babies with me and I can actually work and get done what I need. I could never have done that with Max at the same age. He needed and still needs/demands much more of me when he is around and awake.

All and all, things are going just fine. No real complaints. Just busy and routine and normal. All day there is something that needs to be done and lots that doesn't get done and I've been a terrible friend to pretty much every friend I have most of the time as I don't have the time or energy to keep in touch. But, overall it feels managable, and right and fulfilling.

sleep debrivation

Their are killing me these children of mine. I fell asleep at 10:30 ish after working late again tonight as I have pretty much all week. There is just a lot to do and this afternoon I cut out early because my dad was in town unexpectedly and he hung out with for us for a few hours, but I had things that had to get done so once again it was back to work once the babes were down. So, I fall asleep around 10:30 pm and N is fussing at 11:30 pm that requires me to get up. I get her settled and go back to sleep, immediately fall back asleep and at 12:15, it was Mr. R's turn. By this time, I'm awake enough that I figure I may as well suck it up and pump and rest that clock and here I am. Last night, N was up and fussy a lot for some reason or other and she is usually my best, go all night sleeper. I really don't remember the night before that, but suffice it to say some turn of events happened that one or more of my children woke wanted food, attention, a nappy change that required my awake time when I'd rather not. Ah, sleep is over rated, right?

A pump emergency

If it's not one thing, it is some thing else...or so the saying goes.

Had a pump emergency a bit ago. Breast pump started making really, really bad noises and I was afraid it wouldn't make it through the night, which would have been bad. Very, very bad. I tried to see if I could fix it. I couldn't and didn't spend much time trying to get it back together. A quick online yellow pages search and a few phone calls later and I found a place that had one and that I could get to before it closed. Several hundred dollars later, I'm the proud owner of a brand new breast pump. For a nano second, I thought about just stopping, but I'm not ready to do that. As much as it is a pain, it is now part of my routine and I think it is in the best interest of the children.

Another potential crisis averted. Now, I just need to trash the old one.

A funny

I was working late tonight because there is a lot of work. My new assignment is going to keep me busy, but I really am enjoying the work and it is something that will probably sound very egotistical, but I'm good at it. But, with coming up to speed in the new area, and being out last week, and trying to recover from the weekend, I was way behind and needed to catch up and tonight was the night. Now, I'm on an adrenaline rush and I'm finding it hard to unwind and get to bed, which I'm sure isn't a good thing.

I was wrapping up work and going to move N from the swing to her crib....again. She had been previously asleep in her bed and woke up screaming in her I'm inconsolable mode and the solution was the swing. My neighbor lent me her old swing so we now have two and have them in such a manner that the babes can see each other. N just snuggles in the new one and looks like such a rolly polly. I'll have to pull out the camera and take some pictures. I forgot it at Thanksgiving. N was 13 lbs 8 oz last Friday. R was 13 lbs 4 oz. Max is very concerned that only N has been using the new swing and I've been instructed to move them and let R have a go at it. We have the swing R has been using up against the counter under the cool air humidifier. He's doing fine right now. Almost no wheezing and only a bit of coughing, but it is regular coughing. Both still have a fair amount of congestion, but they are both on the up hill climb unless we get something else brought into the house of germs. I was able to convince the peds office that we didn't need to come in this week for a visit as instructed in the hospital discharge reports since we are going to be back soon anyway for their 6 month check up and second synigis shot.

Speaking of synigis, I got a call from the supplier today asking some questions and about shipping it to the docs for the second installment and the rep asked whether they had been hospitalized while taking it due to respiratory issues among several other routine type questions. She had to catch herself and do a double take when I responded yes. I guess she doesn't get that much. :) Just made me laugh.

Now, here is the funny....I was wrapping up work and was clearing dishes out of my office and going to move N, and I had this ah ha, gut type thought? reaction? moment? where it hit me ....

I HAVE TWINS. Holy Crap. I have babies. Two of them. Twins.

Considering all that we have been through since June and that they are now almost 6 months. I just found my awe and disbelief quite amusing and amazing. I guess it was a bit of a delayed reaction. I'm still laughing at myself a bit over it.

Things I have learned

1) Even the hospital didn't think it was necessary to have R on oxygen taped up to his face. They had a "blow by" of cool most air out of a tube somewhat directed at his face. I'd be willing to do that while he sleeps if I had the right equipment. I feel slightly vindicated. Although the admitting doc gave the best explanation yet of why the pulmonaligist wanted to err on the side of caution.

2) You don't necessarily have to use the face mask on the nebulizer. Yes, it may be more effective, but just blowing it at the nose can be considered good enough if the mask freaks out the patient.

3) You can and probably should use the bulb syringe to suction the mouth/back of the throat when clearing the nose. Boy did I get a lot of phlegm when I did this. A lot. Less for them to need to cough up and to possibly get into the airways/lungs. Yes, they don't like it, but it does fall into the good for you/very effective category.

4) What "pulling" means in regards to breathing and why it is bad. I'm still not all that good at hearing wheezing. Yes, I can hear it in R, but pretty anyone even vaguely around him will hear that it is so bad right now. They say N is wheezing a bit as well, but I can't really hear it in her.

5) Even though the directions may say to only give a breathing treatment every 4 hours as needed, really, you can do it as often as needed much more frequently if needed to try to get breathing airways open and less pulling and wheezing.